Part 3 of the Women’s Empowerment/Demise of the Patriarchy Celebration +
the Gemini New Moon
What follows is the third and final chapter of my Scorpio Full Moon-inspired treatise on the abortion bans, Women’s Rights, Sovereignty, and Empowerment. I’ll also address this week’s comparatively happy-go-lucky Gemini New Moon below.
Last time I spoke of my daughter’s birth and the dream which propelled me into the work that I do today. When I landed in the hospital and they gave me the first steroid shot, it was because they expected her to be born right away. There was a death and a birth that night, but not the ones everybody in that room expected. As the disembodied voice was telling me that my daughter would be a survivor no matter my decision to live or die, I died to my old self: the academic control-freak; the intellectual Type-A who needed to feel she was “in charge.” (Bwahahhaha!)
That night I was re-born as an intuitive.
For the first time ever and from that moment on, I trusted that everything would be okay. And it has been.
For years, people asked me how I did the NICU experience for months without losing it. It’s actually not that hard when you’re in a place of trust. There are other hard things about it—the hours it took daily to get there and back, the expense of so much extra gas and all of the highway tolls—but I was never consumed with worry about HER. Because I didn’t have to be. I knew. I just knew she was going to be okay. And she was!
This level of knowing persisted past the NICU months.
In addition to being radically premature, she was also bilingual. Her father and her pre-school teachers were worried that at almost 4 years old, she wasn’t really saying much besides a single word here or there in French or English, while her classmates were rattling off paragraph-length speech at astonishing speeds. But I knew she was just fine, and she was. Seemingly overnight she started putting sentences together and expressing herself in both languages.
Later, she repeated Kindergarten: somehow, mid-year, all of her amazing progress collapsed, and her end-of-year test scores were lower than those at the beginning. We switched schools and began again. She was very small and did not look out of place being held back.
I just continued to trust and hold space for her latent talents to show up; for her interest in reading to show up. For her confidence to re-appear. And it did!
Was I, a former literature professor and someone who started reading voraciously at the age of 4, impatient that year after year, the reading bug had not taken hold? Of course I was. But I never doubted that it eventually would. I kept reading to her every day. My trust was rewarded when she was 11. And now, 2 years later, she’s been invited to join the Reading Bowl team and Accelerated English. Boom!
Everything works out in the end. It’s simply a matter of reminding oneself to trust, and of following the intuitive threads that are available in front of you.
The combination of trusting (being) and taking aligned action (doing) is one of the best ways to ride and generate intuitive waves. It also helped prevent me from falling into despair about [fill in the blank: her survival, her intellectual abilities, her future success in the world, or anything else].
Embodied intuition = Empowerment
Embodied intuition is about stability. About having your own back. About belonging—to yourself, to your values, to your highest vision of what is possible, and to your TRUTH.
Right now, I am aware of a lot of the women who are feeling lost, knocked around, or like the rug has just been pulled out from under them, and this is the raison d’être of this series.
It is time to start trusting ourselves and our own knowing.
Gut-level knowing will preserve you from being pulled by externals: what others—friends, family, clergy, the government—think that you “should” do, what your own self-judgment tells you that you “should” do.
Intuitive wisdom will preserve you from the kind of stresses that shave years off your life.
After trusting my intuition with my daughter’s health and development, and then to leave my guaranteed-salary-for-life academic career, and through the rocky shoals of the first few years of running my own business, I was feeling pretty solid. “You’ve got this,” I would tell myself, and I believed it.
I’m telling this story—some of it for the very first time—for the sole reason of illustrating just how insidious wanting someone else to show you the way can be, even if you know you’re a natural leader.
After my first 6-figure year, my fancy mastermind wasn’t doing it for me. My coach would say “do this!” and I would feel massive resistance, but I would do it. (I was paying her thousands per month to steer me right, after all.) And it would fail. BIG time. I stuck with that coach for a third year, but my income slipped, and then completely disappeared. And I mean down to zero dollars a month, right as my husband’s company was declaring bankruptcy. Good times!
Do you want to know why my income disappeared? It’s because I was still calling myself a spiritual business coach. I knew, in my bones, that coaching was a dead industry. I was ending my relationship with my former coach. But until I completely extricated myself from the model of following someone else’s lead, I could barely survive, much less thrive.
I came back from that serious rough patch with a plan I thought would work: my Oracle Circle. In fact, it DID work, but not at all the way I thought it would. At all. However, I was learning to trust my intuition in business—my own guidance, and not that of a coach—for the first time, and it was heavenly. I was done with gurus for good. No more handing over my power of decision to someone else for me! No sir.
[Can you see where this is going?]
About 18 months later, I was doing well financially again, and was really feeling the threads of connection with my past lives; so much so that my everyday clothes were late Medieval/early Renaissance gowns with long skirts, flowy sleeves, and corsets. And I mean every day. This is what I felt most at home in. (Corsets as loungewear? You bet!)
I got lots of funny looks, but I didn’t care. This is what my guidance was telling me to do, so I did, just like when I took the “crazy” step of quitting my tenured academic position.
The first time I wore these clothes out, I asked if my daughter wanted to come with me to the store. She cocked her head and said “Maman, is what you’re wearing, like… a costume? Or… regular clothes?” I told her it was a little bit of both and she seemed satisfied, but one lady in the Kroger’s parking lot froze, dropped her jaw and stared so hard that we had to swerve to walk around her; cars, did, too. Hilarious!
I was so in tune with my past lives that I finally answered the call to step into a Mystery School and priestess training; a call which I had been hearing for a few years.
I loved it!! I gobbled up every bit of information and lore I could, and within 2 weeks of beginning was completely connected with the Goddess teachings I had known for lifetime upon lifetime. They just flowed effortlessly into the chalice of my knowing. For the first time in my life I felt completely in my element.
I decided to go deeper and went as deep as I could: in-person temples and the tightest of tight circles. I cried on the first night because I felt I was at home on Planet Earth for the first time in living memory. That week was pure magick, each day better than the last. I felt exalted.
And then, less than a week later, my beloved priestess mentor and I tangled. She heard about something from a third party and took me DOWN for it. No holds barred. I didn’t even realize that I had crossed a line—it had never been articulated and it seemed really silly to me—but she was using phrases to describe me that I had only ever heard her use to describe murderers, rapists and those who turn little boys into gun-toting warriors in central Africa.
I was completely undone. She told me that I had “taken a shit in the middle of the circle.” I felt small, powerless, and like the bloody horcrux in King’s Cross at the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: quivering in the corner, horrified, hovering between life + death, crying my eyes out.
I went to bed thinking that I was lucky that she had allowed me to stay in the group—my soul family, after all—and reached out to all of my circle sisters who had wanted to work in their Akashic Records with me. I told them that I was cancelling their invoices or returning their money. My sin? To assume that working with sisters for money was okay, even though they were the ones asking me, not the other way around.
The next morning, I woke up angry. I was mad at myself for giving my power away.
I was mad at her for assuming that I had had some kind of evil intent for just doing my job (and offering a massive discount at that).
I was also pissed that she had thrown her poverty consciousness all over me; part of her problem might have been that I was charging pretty much what she did, even though we were the same age and had roughly the same level of training (Masters vs. doctorate), in different areas.
But mostly I was mad at myself for having believed her secondhand version of events over my own inner truth. I requested a meeting and got it.
I’ll spare you all the gory details; suffice it to say that at that meeting I gave away my power again.
I asked to do open-eyed meditation to feel like we were on equal footing again. (The philosophy of the school was that no one was above anyone else, and I loved this practice.) But she wasn’t looking straight into her camera; her laptop was on a low table. In order to get eye-to-eye with her and thus heal the rift between us, I had to get down on my knees. You read that right. Buh-bye, sovereignty! That was game, set, and match right there.
For 18 months, I let her version of me stand as my truth, though I was doing battle with it daily. I got suicidal more than once. My business was hanging on by a thread because I didn’t trust myself to know which way was up.
I was a professional intuitive who was not trusting her inner wisdom. I was a compass who had lost her True North, It’s hard to get more messed up than that. I mean, I might as well have been dead since I wasn’t actually alive.
That’s where things stood for a year and a half.
I finally decided that I could not go to our live aloha temple to let her tell me who I was, when I finally knew it wasn’t true. Not again.
I let go of my entire community, the one place I had ever felt entirely at home. I had to, in order to embrace my own truth. It had become a matter of life and death.
I did it so that my daughter would not have to grow up suspecting that my suicide had anything to do with her.
There was a time on this planet when only a happy few were wise to the ways of inner wisdom. These spiritual guides were needed because most of humanity was either caught in the mental trap of monotheistic religion and had been told they needed some form of intercession with the divine, or was too busy with daily life to devote the many hours of meditation needed in order to purify the mind.
This was the case once humanity started believing in a sky-god that was separate from them and their Mother, the Earth. After millennia of living on the largesse of Mother Nature, the divine was out of reach; inaccessible. You had to devote years to studying or be a hermit in order to touch the divine plane.
But for a while now (since the 1987 Harmonic Convergence), each human’s capacity for intuition and true inner knowing has been expanding. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I’ve been saying for years that each Eclipse Season brings a higher capacity for Divine Wisdom to each one of us. That Divine Wisdom is OURS. Ours! It’s our own truth.
The time for gurus is past.
It is now time to be engaging our own knowing: in our professional, financial, romantic, social, political, and family lives.
Since the Scorpio Full Moon two weeks ago, we have seen states (sometimes our own states: I happen to live in Georgia) declaring to women that we do not have the right to control our own bodies. This is a sovereignty issue, just as clearly as the brouhaha with my priestess mentor was. She wanted (no doubt unconsciously) to keep me in a subordinate position to her. The Patriarchal Order would like to keep women (barefoot and) pregnant so that we have neither the time nor the energy to resist.
They are making these dramatic moves and attempting to turn back the clocks on our human rights because they know that their days in power are numbered. Try as they might, they will not be able to stop us. We are organized (connected to our truth, to each other, to Source), we know what we want (freedom) and we have the unstoppable power of Love at our backs.
True freedom—sovereignty—can only be achieved when we’re making powerful decisions for ourselves in every moment. Sometimes we might to decide to defer to someone else, but it’s still our decision. Connecting to our true inner knowing in every moment is the best way to stay in alignment with our grandest dreams. It is our greatest gift to ourselves, to our loved ones, to humanity, and to the natural world.
Leadership in a Shifting World
The new-paradigm model for leadership is not about being selected or elected.
It is about having a voluntary group of followers.
Choosing = Sovereignty = Freedom.
Embodied intuition means leading yourself first.
Then if someone chooses to model themselves after you, so be it. It’s not about having followers, but about the peace of mind that comes from knowing you’ve done the right thing.
The new form of leadership isn’t about ego, or the kind of hubris we have seen in the White House for the past 2 years. It’s about filtering out what is false or out of alignment. It’s about discerning the truth and the best course of action, not to get what you want in the Now, but to create harmony, prosperity, justice, and peace for our children and our children’s children.
This is why I created Marry Your Intuition : so that women would have a place to gather, get still, and know their Truth.
The survival of our planet depends upon it.
This summer let’s prepare for and spend the peak energies of the year (Summer Solstice and Eclipse Season) together in sisterhood.
This is a full-on sensory journey, a sacred pilgrimage to your Inner Temple. It’s not for the faint of heart or for those who are not willing to risk shattering what they believe is possible about themselves. This is about taking blinders off and pushing the edges of our reality.
I’m shaking out the tent flaps, arranging the cushions, stoking the brazier, and gathering herbs, holy oils, and garlands of flowers to welcome in the sisters who are ready for this transformative experience of radical, alchemical self-honoring.
We start tomorrow. And the me tell you, the miracles that were created in the March-April version of this 5-week program were breathtaking! Let your inner “YES!” or “no thanks” be your guide.
(If you’re a guy reading this and think overcoming your inner Patriarchy in favor of knowing your own embodied truth would be like coming in out of the desert, let me know. I’m open to co-organizing a men-only version of this program.)
Gemini New Moon at
12 degrees on 3 June
This week’s New Moon in Gemini is a 3-3-3 New Moon, which is a full-on joy code! You might be thinking “yeah, but it’s no longer the 3rd.” Guess what? Because this was the first day of the new cycle, every other day until the Total Solar Eclipse (visible from near the South Pole only) on 2 July will be infused with this joy. Happy dance!
The Gemini New Moon, ruled by Mercury (governing the mind, messages, and magick/alchemy) is always the best New Moon of the year to take a class or give a class; for getting your message out, and generally connecting with others or your truth.
This particular Gemini New Moon happened at 12 degrees, so if you know your birth chart, look for the house where 12 Gemini is located.
For me, 12 Gemini is the exact cusp between 5th and 6th houses, so I’m looking at both Leo- and Virgo-related themes, as well as the transition between those houses (thank you, Emily Trinkaus, for that articulation!). How does energy move from playful Divine Child owning her spotlight to the Sovereign Priestess desiring to bring the sacred breath of perfection to all things? That is my inquiry for this lunation; I hope that it helps you to articulate yours.
Incidentally, there is still time to set magickal intentions all day and all night today (Wednesday 5 June). If you know it, keep your house placement in mind as you do.
So many of our New Moons recently have been intense; at the Taurus New Moon last month, it was right next to lunation-ruling Venus meeting intense Uranus in her home sign for the first time in about 75 years! This New Moon is somewhat less intense. This is a brief respite, as later in the “moonth” things will intensify with the opening of Eclipse Season, the Summer Solstice, and the lead-up to Mercury Retrograde (exact on 7 July; the strong pre-shadow starts on the total solar eclipse that begins the next lunation, 2 July).
There are other big things happening in the chart of the New Moon, though: ruler Mercury and the Sun/Moon, while not close together, come into a T-square with expansive Jupiter and dreamy Neptune, asking you to articulate and take action on your Big Visions. What is it that you are looking to amplify?
Mars is also very close to the North Node in Cancer, just as Saturn and Pluto are close to the South Node in Capricorn. Last summer Mars’s intense retrograde period coincided with Eclipse Season, and that year this fiery planet was traveling with the South Node.
Because the South Node represents the karmic past and ideas/ways of being that are rather musty and just done, last summer’s Mars transit the South Node was a time to re-experience the now-expired (and stinky, and repellent, like milk that has turned) Patriarchal Order as it was falling down.
This summer, Mars is on the North Node at Eclipse Season, and will be eclipsed again. But this time, the re-set is not to flush away the old (as last year) but to usher in the new.
The North Node represents our highest evolutionary path, and right now that node is in Cancer, the sign of the Moon and the Mother in all the senses of nourishment, life-force, home, nurturing. I’ll have more to say about this another day, but let me just put this bug in your ear:
What does it mean for our culture when the God of War decides that the best way forward means to ungird his sword and to belt on an apron instead? When he opts to be the stay-at-home dad?
Oooooh, I cannot wait to find out!!
Own Your Magick!
P.S.: If you missed the first 2 parts of the series, you can find part one here–it’s re-frame of the abortion bans as something to be celebrated because they are the death knells of the Patriarchy–and the second part–telling my giving-birth story that ended in a potent dream about the true nature of time which presaged my work as an Oracle, and to which I refer often in my work even today–here.
P.P.S.: If you are interested in Marry Your Intuition (it radically shifted my life and the life of everyone in it for the better; I cannot wait to see what magick gets created this time) reach out right away, because we start SOON. Let’s have a conversation. If we’re connected on fb, send me a message. Otherwise, email me: firstname.lastname@example.org