Here’s one of the things that I know to be true: we always have a choice. I’m fond of saying that free will—the freedom to choose and make our own mistakes—is the “prime directive” of the human experience.

 

(Yes, I’ll admit it: I totally geek out on Star Trek and other sci-fi adventures. Love Yoda, I do. And I’m guessing maybe you do too, since sci-fi was the one place we could think about alternate realities before the scientific world got on board with quantum physics.)

 

Fundamentally, we each have the choice to operate from a place of Love or a place of fear. In every moment.

 

I’m going to repeat that, just in case it whizzed right by: Fundamentally, we each have the choice to operate from a place of Love or a place of fear. In every moment. Which do you choose? Do you even know?

 

 

Frankly, most people operate out of fear: they take actions and make decisions based on nostalgia or regret for the past, or anxiety for the future. They let themselves get carried along on a wave of panic caused by the 24-hour news barrage. They believe that the world is going to hell in a handbasket because they see proof of it every time they turn on the tv.

 

They feel like the world is out to get them, and they’d better protect what little they have before it gets taken away: by the government, by insurance companies, or by someone who has it out for them. Life happens to them all the time, and they are often overwhelmed, panicked, or feeling sorry for themselves.

 

Others, though, are better at staying in the Present Moment, and therefore make decisions and take action from a place of Love every time. If you operate from Love, you don’t get into panic about not having enough, because you are connected enough to the Divine Universe that you know that everything happens for a reason. And you know that even if things in your life look bad from a human perspective, the Universe has your back, and therefore everything will always work out in the end.

 

These people tend to live longer, happier lives because they know that they are not victims of circumstance: they co-create their own realities with their Divine Selves.

 

Guess what: you’re either a creator or a victim. Or rather, as a creator, you choose to make yourself a victim. And when the Universe sees you choosing suffering, it says “oh, okay, if that’s what you want, here’s some more.” Ultimately, you’re either creating the life of your dreams, or you’re creating the suffering of your nightmares. It’s totally up to you to choose, in every moment.

 

You’ll hear me say this over and over again: everything is energy. How you are (the energy you bring) is even more important that what you do.

 

Because in the end, this is what counts. People will forget what you did, but they’ll always remember how you did it.

 

True confessions time: for the past 3 months or so I have been playing the victim rather than creating my own reality. Yep, as much as it hurts to admit that while I was teaching about creation, I wasn’t really living it. Worse: I didn’t even recognize that I wasn’t! I knew I felt “off”—not my normal self—and I knew that I was bringing in only a small portion of the income I typically generate, but I didn’t put the two together.

 

You don’t really need the details, but as long as I’m this far in, I might as well go all the way.

 

Over the winter holidays, I was traveling in France for several weeks with my husband and daughter to visit his parents. They paid our way. And they don’t like or respect me much (I’m not good enough, and don’t have a proper respect for massive wealth). Frankly, it’s mutual: I think they’re arrogant and have their priorities in the wrong place.

 

But here’s the thing: because I avoid conflict like the plague, I took myself out of my Power so as not to trigger them and cause the entire trip to implode. I made myself small and squishable like a bug so that they wouldn’t respond violently—as they have in the past—to the powerful woman that I am.

 

Truth Bomb: It was MY CHOICE to do this. Nobody made me. I did it on my own. It might have been an unconscious choice, but it was a choice nonetheless.

 

And because I spent several weeks in this small, victim-y space without stepping into my Power as a businesswoman, by the time I got back home, I was so far into feeling hurt and misunderstood and underappreciated and generally reviled that I didn’t even realize that I was doing it to myself. And so I didn’t snap out of it. Not for 3 whole months. Months!

 

It took a brave comment by someone in my Mastermind—that I was using my family situation as an excuse or a crutch—to shift the situation. I finally started to see that I was casting myself in the role of the victim, precisely where I didn’t want to be! That shook something loose.

 

Within days I got really sick. Flu, stomach flu, migraine, the whole 9 yards. It was a total detoxification of all the victim energy that I had built up for months. It wasn’t pretty—fever, chills, spewing—but it got the job done. Even though I was in a lot of pain for days, I know now that I created that illness so that I could rid myself of all those unwanted energies. And I’m very grateful.

 

I tell you what: stepping from hurting victim to Powerful Creator feels really damn good.

 

Your homework this week:

 

Ask yourself if there is a place in your life where you are playing the victim. Focus on the language that you use. Do you ever say things like “S/he made me feel” or “They made me do _________”? That’s victim-talk. Only YOU are responsible for your feelings and actions.

 

If you are licking your wounds or saying “poor me!” in any area of your life, you can know that you are playing the victim. That you chose to play the victim, so that you could learn an important lesson. Everything happens for a reason, so figure out what that reason is, and step into that place of powerful co-creation with the Divine you.

 

Please go ahead and leave a comment below. I’d love to hear from you!